where are you now?~

This world, which we live on, why was it created like so - we are born, we live, we die. Why is there such a process? The emotions we experience, love, sadness and anger. Isn't it amazing that such an intricate world was created? People who hate God, why? He didn't do anything wrong. We were the ones who did this to ourselves. God didn't give us pain and suffering. He doesn't predetermine what we do. He doesn't cause things to happen. It's us who cause pain and suffering to others. It's us who destroy the planet and plague the vast plains and seas. It is not us to blame God for such misfortunes, we are the only ones walking this earth, so it has to be us. Yes, some may believe Jesus walks beside them, but he's not physically here, so we are walking the world so lonesomely. But wait no, we aren't... we have our loved ones to help ease our trip through this world.
So maybe, rather than act sad and angry towards others, maybe we should be less selfish and take into account other people's sacrifices to help ease everyone else's trip in the world. The smile on my nephew's faces when I play with them brings me so much joy. My brother's smile when I tell an awesome joke brings joy to me. And when I spend my time with Felicia... it's like I'm on another planet... all my pain and suffering escapes from within my soul. Keeping all these memories and experiences makes me who I am today. Love, is something which needs to be spread more. No matter how angry you are, another person whom you love so much could be having a bad day too... so rather than just chucking bad tones and shouting at them, why not try to cheer them up?
Of course it's not an easy job being so nice to people, but really, is it that hard to offer a smile? The people you meet in your life can be divided into 3 different categories:
- acquaintances
- family
- friends
out of these 3 who you be nicest to? I would say acquaintences and friends in most situations. I'm sure most of you think so too. Why is this so? Well, I think it's because we don't live with them, or they aren't actually in our lives 24/7 like our family. You become so comfortable with your family that you don't actually care whether or not they see how sulky your face is. But here comes the essence of guilt and soon the issue of taking things for granted. Yes we can have our very once off days where we can't force a smile anymore or just try to be happy. I guess this is why our friends and acquaintences don't experience much crap from us unless they're our very very good friends. But I reckon that despite being around the family 24/7 we need to show initiative in showing love. Our rents, although nagging for something, they did give us shelter and food. If we tried to live in the world by ourselves right now, we'd have a much harder time. I know people who get kicked out and try to crawl back into the safety of their homes. It's just amazing how much we need our rents at times. At one time, despite how different to how differently we may think at the same age, we did experience many of the same things. But with different mantalities. That's what makes them different to us, does it not? So why can we be angry with them if they think differently to us? The thought of them leaving this world at some point makes me so sad. My brother's smile, my mum's laugh and my dad's strong commitment to bring money back home makes me feel so special. To those other families too, don't forget how much you've all gotten through as a family. Life, my dear, would've been a struggle without a family. You're special. You needn't feel that your loss of presence would make things easier in the world. People need and want you in their lives till the end. Never ever think you're unwanted... Someone will always come by and show you an undying love, whether it may be God, family or friends.
To Felicia, know that my love for you is unconditional. I'm here to support you when you're not only at your highest, but your lowest point too. And you know it. We've been through a lot already, but you've been through lots more with your family. Just think about how much joy you've brought to both me and your family. You know why you bring us joy? It's because you're an amazing person. The thought of you leaving will bring tears to our eyes instantly. You're with us every step of the way, because you're such an amazing and beautiful person. You're so caring, so never ever feel that you're unwanted, okay? You have so much unconditional love around. You are a special person. You are a smart and caring person. You are always going to be loved. Felicia, remember this, please. If someday I stray, bring me back to this. Bring me back to all the moments we shared. All the funny,sad and angry times we had... because it's what made us us today. To this very day, we've become attuned to each other. Nothing will bring us down. We'll get through it all together. NEVER FORGET

O genki desuka,
Warren