stained~

My clothes are drenched in the blood of many; stained with the emotional aptitude of human/spiritual dichotomy of needs and wants. My mother cries for her son back, who is slowly drifting further and further away from the family and friends who built him on foundational love. What must one do to remove those stains? Throw away the clothes, wash it away or burn it. To throw away the clothes and become naked is to become vulnerable to the world. Vulnerable to rape, murder, mockery, slander and hate. To wash it away is to rectify what was wrong, to try to wash away the blood of your clothes. How does one remove the stain completely though? The stain will be there on your clothes forever, until the day you die and when God pulls out your files and reads to you what you've done... To burn your own clothes is to burn yourself along with it. To relinquish yourself of human needs,wants and the stains of today. These stains, as much as I evaluate them, as much as I try to rectify them, as much as I try to burn them and as much as I try to throw it away, it stays with me for all eternity. I can't keep washing it with my towel, the material will become coarse and soon rub off my skin. So how? What's the use of all of this. To live with this stain, to live with pain, to live with sadness when it can't be washed away. What is it that makes me think this way, is because everything is hitting me and I can never escape these problems no matter how much I try to run away from them. To be stained, is to be a living as one with the devil inside of me.