My shadow's voice~

Just waiting on that voice to tell me where I am, who I am, what I am and why I am. as I stroll along this deep and dark alley way to get back home, I catch glimpses of light which allows my shadow to play games and try to catch up to me. I try running faster but my shadow still picks on me, teasing me and playing games with me. Here I thought I was alone on my way back home. But you keep following me, pestering me, mocking me, provoking me, dividing and preventing me from my world. But I know, sometime and somewhere a voice better than your distant and muffled voice will pick me up again and lead me home again. Never will I go into the opposite direction with my shadow. I will not let it lead me. But no matter how much I try to stop it, erase it from my memory and hate it... I'm unable to breathe properly. Why am I unable to be happy with what lies ahead, rather than moping and lounging around about the past. The scar has been cut too deep - it still hasn't recovered yet. The blood gushes as I try to apply pressure to it - hands soaked with my own blood. It suffocates me, I can't breathe - it laughs. I scorn at it, I loathe it, I despise it - yet I love it. Some would call me sadistic - but I say it's unconditional love. Taboo. This shadow has no ears, only an echo and a shadowy figure to accompany it. Better off dead. Nothing beats having something destroy you slowly and eat you up at time goes by - aching.