mother's day (a family day?) ~

Mother's day, Mother's day, Mother's day. A where we all spend a day pampering our Mother as a family. Me, my brother and... oh, he's not here. Actually, to my regulation, we've never really done anything as a family. There never really was a father figure in my life, he'd always be on his computer, or overseas (like now). So I never really got to see my Father. Frustration is the word to describe this particular segment in my life. When I see other families so close to each other, nurturing and tending to each other's needs. Like wtf, when I say my family is quite broken, I think it is. Me and my brother physically fight until one or the other is hurt to the core. We may seem like nice people at first, but that's when rage becomes a maelstrom on hatred bottling up inside of us. Once it's unleashed, the very essence of our human conscience suddenly evaporates. I actually talked to my uncle about this, he's usually very knowledgable in our family history. He told me,"Warren, you know your family was an angry nomadic clan?" Also, apparantly my Mother's family derived from a rich/royal family of some sort. Funny thing is, the angry part's correct but the rich part isn't very much so.
I think the reason why I feel like this is because I feel the need for a father figure in my life. I want somebody to share with me their life experiences and thoughts of the world. I wanted somebody to guide me to God, not me trying to guide my family to God. Like wtf... there are so many things which I haven't done in this life which were supposed to be done as a family, or with my Father. Such as, fishing, circus etc etc. Just those mediocre things are missing from my life. Other people who share these fond memories share it with their family. As for my family, we separate ourselves from each other at home. We mumble, criticise and groan at each other. If you rant about your Father and Mother, who do pety things like send you to your room for doing something bad, or getting bad reports, then fuck you. You deserve it, your parents are doing that for your own good, if you don't want your parents I'd gladly accept them, you ungrateful bastard.
*sigh* Life, life, life. haha. Such a mysterious thing. Who knew that the happiest days of the year could be seen as the deepest, darkest and wretched days of the year.

O genki desuka,
Warren