True Sadness~

To have felt true sadness is to have felt the depths of existence - that is living on an empty world of deceit and lies. Through human morals and ethics are we forged to become part of civil society. More so, becoming one with the world of idolatry and pleasures is to become one with the devil. The pact made since Adam and Eve. The fate of man kind was sealed to this world, where we shall endure hardships, sorrow, love, goodness, pain and above all, death. What's wonderful is that despite whichever end of the spectrum we experience, we are made to experience the other end. To feel loved by your significant other, to feel that this person will never let you down. Someone who was been there for all your life. Someone who you knew would always be at your side no matter what. When they leave you. When they die. You feel pain. The pain which lets you know how awful this world is. But before this all happened, did you not feel that nothing could go wrong and that you had a purpose in life? What does this mean to our existence as human beings?

To me, this means that for there to be an existence of good and bad in this world, we are only human. We are subject to change and self-actualisation through such events to help construct who we are as we become adults. For us to experience true sadness, is to understand who we are and why we are here. To keep fighting on? To fall into the same trap in which I call love - but may possibly find someone who will last? Don't know. Perhaps it'll be jealousy which continues within these veins so that I struggle on in life. Interesting, isn't it? To be feeling a sense of dignity and a vainglorious egotistic pride within myself leads me to the reason why I type so enthusiastically for the internet world - to let others know the troubles of a young adult conceited in his own values.

Seemingly so, despite all these troubles given unto me. I find strength. But still feel the aching depths of loneliness as I continue to float around in space, seeking something special to finally allow me to reach home. People are counting on me. People are waiting for me. People show me their love, their respect, their enthusiasm and their care, but I still negate it. Why? It could be possible that I seek recognition from a fellow significant other, or more so whom who shall not be named (Voldemort you scheming fool). Yeah, perhaps I just want an apology from my ex. Perhaps the only reason why I started believing in myself was so that you'd recognise me and finally come to your senses and say a simple sorry to me. Yeah, you may be thinking this guy is an idiot, but I guess this is where words of affirmation come into place.

However, I feel like I've reached a new found inspiration for life, other than God. To become stronger in body and in soul to protect those close to me. I will not stand down when it comes to my fellow brothers and sisters. To have a benevolent heart is to understand love. To understand love is to understand pain. It's weird, but I can feel when friends are angry, sad, depressed etc just by reading their texts. Just by seeing what they're doing. Or even perhaps with them doing nothing at all and I'm not in the same vicinity as them. Perhaps it may just be a case of reading human emotions and body language, but I believe there is a depth to it all which can't be seen by the naked eye. I guess this is why at times, people find it easier to open up to me, because I share a pain that we both understand. Although in different situations, we can feel a connection in something so great and yet so painful. But it is through this that we can understand the pain of God. The pain that God had to endure, but His love stretched out to us with His Son Jesus. A story, A fact, An event that happened all that time ago. Human, yet not Human at the same time.

We're all here together, let's make this world a better place. For we are those who share the same pain that is living in a broken world, and that we can save those of whom we love and care.