On the outside, you may appear strong, you may appear beautiful. But in the end, you are who you truly are. Your appearance, although changed, doesn't totally represent who you truly are. You can be the strongest looking person in the room, but you could have a hole in your heart. Deep down, everyone has a weakness. No matter what. You will be seen for who you are in the end. You can't escape it despite all the muscles or all the make-up. It's funny... in the end, when we die... do you know where you're going? I feel a bit lost at the moment to be honest, but I do have some very special people in my life. It'll all eventually go away I guess. In time, perhaps when I'm fully recovered.
Most people keep all these dark moments of their lives within themselves. Never to be leaked out to the world. But interestingly enough, the people who you eventually open up to are those who are extremely special to you. I mean, why, after them seeing you for who you appeared to be, and then suddenly showing them who you are must mean something.
I feel my aching body and heart every morning... What's wrong with me? I feel utterly shit since the operation. I don't feel the same anymore. It's probably all those drugs they fed me. Everything seems so fucked up... I hate it. I seriously hate it. I feel so alone at times.
so alone. I'm not the strong personality I used to be anymore...
Monday, June 6, 2011
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